He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I puked a lego.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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