Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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