can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
