remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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