y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
