I'm really into asian looking animals
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
