um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My penis needs a shock collar
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
