Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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