YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it's like heaven, but drunker
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
