giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
