Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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