I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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