You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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