Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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