Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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