Already got asked if we're dating
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
