I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
