Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
