I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
