He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
