I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
