my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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