Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my poor anus
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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