We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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