Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
