Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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