I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
