I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
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