it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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