somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
