Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize