Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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