i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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