My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
