just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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