yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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