it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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