Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
