2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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