So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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