I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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