Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
