i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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