from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
