from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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