i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
