i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No subtext here. People are naked.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
