I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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