we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
