I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
