It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
