I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The best revenge is premature balding
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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