I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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