**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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