I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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