this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
