If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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