omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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