I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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