What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
