Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
