i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
