Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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