i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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