So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Panties = found
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