either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
