I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
