rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
