So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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