I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
