And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
